And if...

I have been drowning in a sea of math and geology homework so I haven't had much time to sit and actually...think. Lately I have been sizing up the world around me; how close am I to my goals? How important are the friends I keep around me? What's the difference between "family" and "relatives"? Am I living up to what I'm expecting of myself? In order for one to truly change, one must change their surroundings. I've found that when one promises "change" in the new year, but starts that year off the same as any, they usually end up in the same position as before.
For example, I'd normally spend my Christmas and New Year's with my mother and siblings, but for whatever reason or another, this year, I chose to be alone.Anyway, the point is, most people aren't going to be susceptible to the new you and that's okay. According to popular belief, if one separates themselves for an extended amount of time, then you must have a personal problem of some sort. Such is not the case. I, personally, am not the type to sit in a corner and pout when I disapprove; if I'm upset, I make no secret about it.

Although my random "disappearing acts" are usually brought on by one thing or another, it's never personal. At any rate, I don't have time to apologize or explain my motives to anyone. I crave peace, quiet and serenity; without it, I'd be a walking, bitchy mess...actually, that's me on any given Thursday, but you know what I mean. Please, never assume anything, especially about me...you only make yourself look like a complete idiot when your claims are proven to be wrong. Not only that, but if I'm not a part of your everyday life, then what's going on with me isn't any of your concern anyway.

I realised that at one time, I was too afraid to let go of what I was used to in order to venture on to something new. I'm coming to realise that as I leave behind who I was, those who truly love me are making their presence known and others are slowly dissipating. Those that I've left behind at this point are gonna stay behind. Here's what's really true: you need to push forward no matter what anyone else says. You must believe that there's something better for you outside of your comfort zone. Who wants to live life in a world of "what if"? I'm somewhere on the road to Sa-Ra's, "and if..."